Life Is Like A Box of Chocolate...Mmm, Mmm, Good!

Just Four and a Half More Weeks!!!

2007-04-25T00:26:00.000-04:00

It is so hard to believe that in just 4 1/2 weeks I will be married to my best friend and the man of my dreams!!! It is my last week at work and then I will be jumping head first into the last minute preparation for the big day!!! Thankfully I don't have that much stuff to prepare! The majority of it is already finished! Yay!!! All I have to do is put the last minute adjustments on the music and get everything squared away with the program and the rehearsal schedule!! It'll be here before I know it! This will most likely be my last post before I become the new Mrs. Matthews!!! Wow!!! Anyway...I will be sure to post the link to our pictures asap!! Well, here I go into the last weeks of being a single woman!!!

Joy

2007-03-29T23:44:00.000-04:00

Things are going wonderfully! I was at Bible Conference last week and learned alot. I miss hearing that kind of preaching every day! It was also so very wonderful getting to see Drew again! It had been more than 2 months since we had seen each other. I stayed with Renee in her room. It was fun! I got to see all my friends again. I miss it there so much! I just don't miss the school work!
Well, there are only 2 more months till the wedding! Things are getting exciting! I love watching how everything just happens to work out just right! I have my next fitting on the 6th of April, and then my next shower on the 14th of April! Lots going on!!
The only point of sadness is that I am really missing mom this month. I have been thinking of her constantly and so many memories have been coming back to me. I wish she were here so badly! There are times I absolutely just ache for her to be able to pull me into her arms again and hug me close and stroke my hair like she would when I was younger. She always knew how to make everything better.
I sat in dad's room watching family videos all evening. Mom was such a beautiful woman both inwardly and outwardly! The way I like to think of it is that God knew how special mom was and couldn't stand to be apart from her so he took her home earlier than normal. I guess that the hardest part is not knowing why.
Anyway....this post is titled "Joy." Right now dad is in Michigan visiting his girlfriend, Kathy. She is such a wonderful woman. Very sweet and caring and she loves the Lord. I am so glad that dad has found his smile again!
The biggest lesson that I have learned in the last year is that God may bring very hard times into our lives, but he promises to never leave us nor forsake us and he will bring us joy in the midst of sorrow. This last year was a roller coaster ride of emotions. But without the joy that God brought into our lives we wouldn have never gotten past the sorrow. No matter how hard things might get in life, God is always there always willing to help us and give us the strength to get through the roughest storms and show us the joy that he has waiting for us on the other side. I have found Joy.

I Get To See My Almost Hubby!!!!

2007-03-18T22:19:00.000-04:00

I am so excited!!! On Tuesday night at 8pm I will hop on the train and head to Greenville to see my wonderful almost husband!! I can't wait!! Less than 48 hours to go till I am on the train!!! It will be so wonderful to see him again! I haven't seen him since January 10th!!! That was way too long ago!!! It is Bible Conference week this week! I am so excited! I love Bible Conference week!! You learn so much and it is so neat hearing from such a neat variety of speakers!!!
Please be praying for Drew, he is currently in Barge....(the campus "hospital") and he is very sick!! Fever, coughing up stuff, miserable.....pray that he gets better before I get there on Wednesday!

Wedding Bells...

2007-03-06T12:25:00.000-05:00

Wow! I can't believe that in less than 3 short months I am going to be married to the most wonderful man in all the world!!! This Saturday begins the craziness of the last days until the wedding. I have my first shower on Saturday. I am so excited!!! I am also sending out my invitations next week! Then 2 weeks from this Wednesday I am going down to visit my almost hubby!!! Bible Conference is in 2 weeks and I am going to be down there for the last half of Bible Conference week!!! I just can't wait to see Drew again! I haven't seen him since January! When I fianlly do see him it'll have been over 2 months!!! When I get back from BJU dad is going to Michigan to visit his girlfriend, Kathy for a week. On April 6th I have my second dress fitting. On April 14th I have my second wedding shower that my church is throwing me. The week of April 22nd through the 29th, Kathy is coming to visit for the week! I can't wait to finally meet her!!! Then The first weekend in May is Drews graduation!!! After graduation he is coming up here and we are packing up all my stuff and loading it into his truck and also taking care of the marriage license and then he is taking my stuff to his house in Alabama!!! Then 3 weeks later......We get married!!!!!! I can't wait!!! I am really hoping that the next 2 1/2 months flies by really quickly! There is so much to do and so many things to look forward to during those months.....I just can't wait to finally be Mr. and Mrs. Andrew Michael Matthews!!!

Interesting New Happenings....

2007-02-19T23:47:00.000-05:00

The scoop:
Recently I found out from my sister that my dad had a lady friend who he would talk to on the phone once in a while. When I found out I asked dad about it and he turned red and got the goofiest grin on his face! It was so funny! So, I enquired about this lady and found out her name is Kathy. A week ago dad left for Florida to go visit my grandparents. What dad did not tell me until he was there was that he was meeting Kathy in Florida! Well, as the week went on we heard more and more about this mystery lady! By Wednesday I could tell from dad's conversation on the phone that things were getting pretty serious! Dad shared a bit with me about his "date day" (as he called it) that he had on Wednesday...which was also Valentine's Day! He took her shopping in West Palm and then they went to a nice restaurant for dinner and ended the evening walking hand in hand on the beach at sunset! Yup....thats when I knew something was brewing! As the week came to a close I got to talk to Kathy briefly on the phone and was surprised to hear a very sweet and pleasant voice. We had a very nice conversation. I knew after that that I wanted to get to know this special lady!
Everytime I asked dad for details about his time with Kathy and their relationship he wouldn't share....I wanted juice! Not for any particular reason other than I was curious and I was beginning to think they were really cute!
On Sunday I decided to give her a call and talk to her again. She was home in Michigan then. So, I got her number from dad and we had such a wonderful conversation again! She was so happy to know that I wanted to become friends! She shared alot with me about dad. The short version: she is totally smitten by my dad! She even told me that dad was calling her his girlfriend! It was so funny hearing someone tell me that my dad makes them laugh like no body else, and is so romantic! I must admit...it is rather odd! lol!
I have been asked by a few people how I feel about this new turn of events. I am so happy to see my dad happy again! He has his "glow" back! He smiles more and laughs more. It is so great to see that side of him again! So, because of dad's happiness, I am totally and completely ok with this! Another thing, after my conversation yesterday with Kathy, I became even more ok. And the more I get to know her the more I like her. Something in the back of my mind is telling me that she is going to be in the picture a while. I am actually looking forward to that! She is planning on coming here to visit for a week in April for dad's birthday. I can't wait to meet her! She will never/can never replace mom. I know this. But she can fill that empty void that is present in dad's life. Not necessarily the same way, but in her own special way.
This is a good thing!

Happy 50th Birthday, Mom!!!!!!!!

2007-02-04T13:26:00.000-05:00

Today would have been my mom's 50th birthday! That is so hard to believe! I have had a few moments today where I got a little weepy, but it was usually when I got to thinking about how much I wish she could be here to celebrate. We are going out for dinner this afternoon to mom's favorite restaurant, Maggiano's. And we are getting tiramisu for dessert because that was her favorite and whenever we would go to Maggiano's she would have to get her tiramisu! It is hard to believe that she has been gone 7 months already. She is greatly missed! It still hurts to think that I won't get to see her again in this life, but God has given me the strength to keep going and he has added so much joy since mom left this world. I will never stop loving the amazing woman who had such an impact on my life and who has helped to mold me into who I am today. Happy Birthday, Mom! I love you so much!

What's On My Mind....

2007-01-13T22:36:00.000-05:00

Here it is....the year 2007. The year that I marry the man of my dreams. Kinda hard to believe that I am actually at this stage in my life. I am about to experience alot of changes. Am I ready?? I think so. Currently nothing in my life has much permanence. My job is temporary, my living status is temporary, even my last name is temporary. I am ready to settle. I still have so much to learn, though. It seems that each day God brings something new into my life to help me. Today's "something" was that He will take care of me. While filling my car with gas I "just happened" to glance down and there was a 10 dollar bill at my feet. My first thought was "who dropped it?" and "I need to get it back to its owner"...but there was no one around. So, I saw it as a God thing and thanked Him for taking care of me.
But that isn't all I am learning. I have the hardest time with trust. I have a very hard time trusting God. This, when I think about it, seems so funny. Here I am, one of God's creations and I have a hard time trusting the One who created me and allows me to take my next breath! But it is so much harder than that. I find that I can be so selfish! I try to take my life in MY own hands. I try to do things in MY own power. I try to handle situations in MY own strength....for what??? Nothing. I get nowhere. Why can't we just trust God? Why can't we just rely on Him for everything? Why is it so hard? Ok, I know the answer. We are selfish, rebellious creatures. Makes ya feel real warm and fuzzy inside...huh?? No, it should make you feel pretty much like dirt. I know thats how I feel.
I have been thinking alot about mom lately. Mom is in heaven. God is so much more of a reality for her than it is for us. Sometimes I wish that I could see what mom is seeing right now....ok, make that an all the time thing. I also wonder how much different mom would be if she were to come back to earth after experiencing what heaven and God are really like. It must be amazing! One night while I was staying at Drews house I had a horrible dream. In my dream, mom was still alive. And alot of the dream was from past memories. It was one of those dreams that seems real. Then, mom died in my dream. I was so devestated. I was crying in my dream and trying to find her. When I woke up I sat straight up in bed and my first thought was that I was so thankful it was just a dream, then I realized mom really was gone. I ran straight up to Drews room in tears. Drew was there the day after mom died and was there for those days after up through the funeral. He understands to some extent what happened in my life the day mom died. Well, something he told me that morning, while he let me use his shoulder (again) to cry on, was something he has told me several times when I get to missing mom....he told me that if mom was given the choice to leave heaven and come back to earth she wouldn't take it. She would rather be in heaven and actually would rather WE come to where she is so that we can see how wonderful and beautiful heaven is. Anyhoo....I am not sure why I just shared all that and actually got off on a rabbit trail (as I normally do)! But anyway...what I was saying is that God is trying to teach me to not be so selfish. I am about to be united as one with a wonderful and godly man who I love dearly. I cannot be selfish in anyway when it comes to our marriage. And I need to trust Drew and submit to his leading in EVERY way! I love the picture that is seen in the marriage relationship and how it mirrors our relationship with our mighty God. Before I marry Drew, I need to be able to trust God with everything. I know there will still be times that I fail in this area even after i am married, but it is something that God is strengthing in me. And he is showing me little ways everyday that I don't trust him and need to. So, to make a long post short, my goal is to trust God with all my heart, soul, and mind and to love him and submit to him every moment of everyday for the rest of my life. Is it harder than it sounds. YES! Can I accomplish this goal in my own strength??? NO! I need to trust God to give me the strength to achieve this desired goal. Thats trust. But, then, how can we not trust the one who created us and gave us everything that we have right now? Its that simple. Yet, it is a lesson that could take years to learn.

Congratulations Jen!!!

2006-12-24T10:23:00.000-05:00

My sister Jen and her new husband Jeff were married last Saturday december 16th! The wedding was gorgeous! Jen was stunning! I got all teared up! The ceremony began with a video slide show of them growing up. I started to get teary through that just remembering all the memories we have growing up. There were also pictures of mom. It was really sweet. Then the wedding party entered. When Jen finally came down the aisle with dad she was glowing! She looked absolutely gorgeous! Her make-up and hair were flawless and her dress was beautiful! But it was her eyes that shined the most! It was a very sweet ceremony and then we went over to this really pretty white mansion dating back at least 100 years for the reception. It was very pretty! Everyone had a nice time and the food was great! If you would like to see pictures from the wedding you can go to www.albums.proshots.com/sonshinepictures the event is Badal2 and the password is Ezzell2. Congrats Jen and Jeff!!!! I love you both!!!

Holiday Happenings...

2006-12-05T10:24:00.000-05:00

Wow! I can't believe that Christmas is just around the corner! Things are getting crazy at my house! My sister, Jen, is getting married in just a little over a week. Her fiance is working on getting the small basement apartment ready for them here at my house. Drew will be back up here for the wedding. He gets here a week from friday! Yay!!! I am so excited! Please pray for him, he has alot to do before finals.
We had our engagement pictures done the friday after thanksgiving! They turned out great! If you would like to see them you can go to www.albums.proshots.com/sonshinepictures the event name is Badal and the password is Matthew. Just be sure to capitalize the "M" in Matthew!
On the 30th of December I have the wonderful priviledge of travelling down to Decatur Alabama!!! I am staying for 12 days!! It'll be a really nice time and it'll be great to see Drews family again! And get to go to his church again! I love the people down there and I absolutely love his church! Plus, Drew will be there so it'll be even better! lol! And in less than 6 months is the wedding! Things are coming along great! I was talking to Amanda who is my maid of honor the other day....she is so wonderful! She thinks of things that I would have never thought of! But she was asking me stuff the other day and she couldn't believe how on top of things I am! lol!
It is neat when I finally just get to sit back and see how life is going especially with all the changes being made in our family and the different things that are going on how awesome God is. Yeah, we had to face probably the hardest thing ever this past summer when mom passed away, but God promised to never leave us nor forsake us even in the hardest times and he has brought so much joy in the place of sadness. That reality really amazes me! What an awesome God we serve!

Yup, We are country folk!

2006-10-30T21:56:00.000-05:00

Sunday morning dawned like any other day. We had big plans to meet up in DC with my mom's best friend and her family who we hadn't seen in over 8 years. I had just woken up and was attempting to down a bowl of Honey Bunches of Oats when all of a sudden my cat comes running out of nowhere chasing something up onto our couch in the living room and about climbing the book shelves. I am thinking dad has been feeding her way to much of the Friskies and continue eating when all of a sudden I hear the oddest of noises. It was a familiar noise, but not one I normally hear in my house. I was trying to figure out where I had heard that particular noise and then I vaguely remembered hearing a similar noise from a tree above my head a few times around campus at BJU. A sound that could only be made by a squirrel. Being the curious person that I tend to normally be I debated whether to go over to where my cat was going nuts or just watch what was taking place from my seat at the very high up stool in the kitchen. Curiosity ended up getting the best of me and I walked over to the couch where my cat was sitting wide eyed and bushy tailed all the while reminding myself that squirrels can carry rabies. So, as gingerly as I new how I kicked the couch leg and it was as if the thing went nuts under there! I ran upstairs to where my dad was screaming because reality had just hit that there was a real live squirrel in our house and it could have rabies and it was mad. Well, dad comes running down the stairs not exactly believing me and goes over to the couch and kicks it like I just had and the stupid squirrel decided to shut up! So, dad is thinking I'm crazy and goes back upstairs. I decide that maybe the thing is just stuck in the floor vent somewhere and not really loose like I originally thought and go back upstairs to get ready. About 30 minutes later I come back downstairs and there is my cat sitting on the back of the couch looking down at something behind the couch. Once again I got very curious and walked over to the couch and peeked over the edge and looked behind it. Let me tell you before I continue that we have a big brown de-humidifier behind our couch. Well, there I am peering over the edge of the couch when all of a sudden I see something gray move under the de-humidifier and make that awful squirrel sound. I jumped back as fast as I could still thinking about rabies and ran screaming up to my dad telling him that I saw the squirrel and even knew its location in the house. My dad comes out of his bedroom and I bust up laughing. He is carrying a wooden beam as a club and his bb gun pistol. All of a sudden I am afraid for this poor little squirrel who somehow got itself mixed up in our big world. Well, my dad comes storming downstairs and my sister Kate goes and wakes up my sisters fiance who lives in my basement and so Jeff (my sisters fiance) comes upstairs and dad tells him to lift the de-humidifier while he shoots the squirrel. The poor thing didn't even see it coming. All of a sudden there is dad shooting his heart out and then this gray bloody thing comes running from behind the couch and finds the corner of the room. The poor thing his face was all bloody where dad had shot 3 bb's in his head. Yet he was still alive! There was blood everywhere! So, dad had him cornered and was determined to finish the little guy off and shot him again in the head point blank. That did nothing....the little squirrel ran straight into the living room and onto the carpet! Finally, we opened the front door and shooed him out! He sat on the stoop for what seemed like forever before he got enough energy to scamper off. When the squirrel was gone we surveyed the damage to the living room and dining room and because dad was the one who had actually made the mess he was the one who had clean-up duty. With the excitement over me and my sisters and Jeff proceeded to get ready for the day. About 5 minutes later dad hollers from the living room that he had found the squirrels eye ball on the carpet under the dining room table. And then he proceeded to show it to each of us. The whole rest of the day we continued to laugh at such a silly event and felt sorry for that poor squirrel who just ended up in the wrong place at the wrong time. We found out 2 things that morning. One being that dad can't kill things up close because just a week or two earlier he shot a squirrel out of a tree and killed it from his bathroom window, and second being that our dog is not a squirrel hunter but just a squirrel chaser. She found more joy of chasing it in circles than in actually catching it. What a morning!!!

Whats New....

2006-10-24T20:34:00.000-04:00

It has definitely been a while since I last posted. Things have been absolutely crazy! The other day I realized that mom has been gona for almost 4 months already! That is very hard to believe. Jen is getting married in less than 2 months. And Kate has started working with me at the coffee shop! The holidays are around the corner and there is still lots to do! It is going to be a very busy next 2 months! I have pretty much been keeping busy with work and now kickboxing classes Monday and Friday evenings and Thursday mornings. My clothes are already starting to fit very loose on me! The sweat pants that I bought for kickboxing are now way too big and I end up having to try to keep them from falling off! I am going to have to get a new pair before the next class! I am so excited about the holidays because I will be able to see Drew more! I miss him so much! This semester thas been rough on him. He has had so much to do! Pray for him if you would. It is the busiest semester ever for him and he is feeling the pressure. Other than that things are pretty much in somewhat of a state of normal. There are only 7 more months to go before our wedding and still alot to do to prepare. Thankfully time is flying relatively quickly seeing as i have been engaged for 2 and a half months already! The wedding will be here before we know it! Until then I am just keeping busy and counting down the days! There are currently 213 more days till we get married! I am already very excited and cannot wait for the big day!

A Big Blessing!!!

2006-09-25T08:34:00.000-04:00

Last Friday a dear sweet lady from my church took me out for the day and we went wedding dress shopping. Back before my mom passed away she appointed this lady to help me. She is really sweet, she was always like a grandma to me, so Friday was a blast! I did find my dress, too! And I found my bridesmaid dresses. Then, she decided we would go to Micheals and see if we could get some ideas for favors and such. Well, she ended up buying my invitations, my flower girl basket, my bubble wands for after the reception, and my veil! So, Friday turned out to be a very productive wedding planning day!
Also, on Friday I am leaving to go visit Drew! I am so excited! It seems like forever since we were together! I miss him soooo much!
Other than that...things are pretty crazy around here.

The Busy Life of Jess

2006-09-17T22:11:00.000-04:00

Hi ya'll!!! Well, here I am again! Things are pretty insane on my end of things! Planning my wedding, working 9 hours a day, going to kickboxing classes, staying busy in church, and still having time to come home and breathe! lol! It is absolutely crazy, but I wouldn't want it any other way! There are only 250 more days to go before I get married! Anything to make those days go by quicker is alright with me! We have revival at our church this week and my pastors brother is the one preaching. He is really good! On Thursday I am going over a lady in my church's house with the other girls my age for a girls night!!! That will be loads of fun! Then on Friday I am going with a very sweet lady in my church to try to find my wedding dress. It is looking to be more of a challenge than I thought to find the right one. I thought I found the right one before, but it just wasn't quite what I was looking for, very close though!
The most exciting news is that in 2 weeks, on September 29th I am going down to see my fiance!!!! I can't wait! I miss Drew sooo much! That is what I am really looking forward to right now!!! It has been a month since we were together....much too long for me! One thing that I am really looking forward to about being married to Drew is getting to be with him and not having to say good-bye. Me and drew have had a long distance relationship since January and we are both not liking it (obviously!). It is hard, but it is true that absence makes the heart grow fonder!!!

What's New

2006-09-11T21:58:00.000-04:00

Wow, didn't see this one coming....I was with dad on Saturday at the country club putting a deposit down for the reception when all of a sudden dad asks if they have anything open on the 9th of December of this year. Instantly my mind begins reeling....Does he want us to get married sooner? Is dad getting married?? What's going on!? So, I ask him and he bluntly tells me that Jen and Jeff are getting married in December. I was shocked! They weren't planning on getting married until August of next year! So, I begin my usual inquiring and find out that Jeff is enlisting in the army and he is going off to boot camp in January. I am not thrilled with this idea because I know Jen would be heart-broken if he had to go over seas. So, now things are more insane than ever with Jen trying to plan a wedding almost from scratch in 3 months. Now I must admit that a part of me was kinda hurt by this....but that is not the kind of attitude I am supposed to be having....I am supposed to be happy for her. This is a lot harder than it sounds. I feel like she is raining on my parade so to speak. So, anyway....just another bump in the road of life and I have to keep believing that God is in control and to just keep trusting Him with everything.....I am just hoping the next 3 months goes by very quickly.

Our Engagement!!

2006-09-05T23:16:00.000-04:00

Here is a picture of Drew and me at the waterfalls! He is in the middle of proposing!!!
You can tell that he is nervous!!

The Planning Has Begun!

2006-08-31T22:54:00.000-04:00

Well, here I am. It has been 2 weeks since I got engaged. I found my wedding dress this week as well as a photographer. I also found where I am going to get my bridesmaid dresses and tuxes from.
I am so excited! There are only 267 days to go before I get married! That is 9 more months. Only 8 more months and 25 days to be exact!!!! I have already reserved the day at the country club and my pastor has the day saved on his calander! The wedding is going to be the 26th of May 2007 at 11am and the reception is going to be at following right after at the country club. The reception is an invitation only thing. That way anyone can come to the ceremony, but the reception will be quieter and more intimate with just family and real close friends. It'll be nice!!! I just wish time would go by faster!!! lol!

A Water Fall and a Surprise!

2006-08-19T19:58:00.000-04:00

Well, I just got home from my 2 week vacation! I spent a week in Alabama where I had a lovely time with Drew and his family. I got to spend alot of time with Drew and grew to love him even more! We went to Six Flags, I got to go horse-back riding, we rode on his dad's motorcyle and roadster, helped out with his church's youth ralley, and got to hang out and talk alot! It was a blast!!!

This past week I was at the Wilds and Drew and his family were there too. We had a great time! The highlight came on Wednesday. We went on the hike to 4th Falls. It is the biggest and hardest hike on the property. Going down was the easy part. It was almost straight down. Coming back was the hard part because it was straight back up! lol! Well, when we got to the falls it was breath-taking! I had never been down there before and so I saw the falls for the first time unlike Drew who had seen them several times.

Well, Drews whole family came on the hike along with my dad. I was nasty hot and sweaty by the time we got down there and couldn't wait to get in the water. Drew began acting funny and said he just wanted to go stand on top of the big rock that looked over the huge water hole for a little bit and cool off. I found this rather odd since the water is ice cold! Well, we got on top of the big rock and everyone who is there can see us. Drew was real quiet for a couple minutes and then he says, "Isn't this place so romantic?" By now I am thinking he has really lost it. Drew never makes comments like that. Usually that is what I usually say! So, I just shrugged it off thinking the heat was getting to himand replied with a very truthful "Yes, it definitely is." A few more seconds go by and then Drew says, "What would you think if I proposed to you here next summer?" I look up at him with a start and say "No! I don't want to wait another year!" By now I am really thinking he has gone cookoo! He then replies, "Ok, well, then how about I propose to you right now?!" It then dawns on me that my boyfriend is a total stinker and that he is very serious because he then proceeds to kneel before me and presents the most beautiful ring to me and asks me to be his wife!!!!!!!!!!! Like I think I lost all functions for a few seconds. I think part of me was in shock and couldn't believe he was proposing while the other part of me was trying to register everything. I remember saying yes and I remember him taking me into his strong arms and hugging me and people cheering and clapping, but that is about it! I was instantly transformed into a giddy giggly mess!!!

The rest of the week flew by too quickly. I think just about everyone at the camp congratulated us and the head program guy announced to the whole camp that night at dinner that we had gotten engaged. I had little girls come up to me asking if I was the girl who got engaged at the waterfall and if they could see my ring. The speaker asked me to hold up my hand during one of the services and show everyone my ring as one of his sermon examples. I honestly felt a bit like a celebrity! lol! I even had some ladies come up to me asking to see my ring because they had seen me around camp and had glanced at my hand and they were all saying how big and pretty it is!

I can't believe I am engaged!!

The ring is a 3/4 karat solitaire with a wrap of rudy begets and channel set diamonds! Put together it is absolutely stunning!

I have alot of planning to do now and research and stuff! It is going to be a busy next 9 months! We are planning on getting married on May 26th 2007! It'll be here before we know it! Yay!!!! I am so happy! I still can hardly believe it!

Today is the day.....

2006-08-03T08:54:00.000-04:00

....I get to finally leave for Alabama! At 8pm my train leaves and is scheduled to arrive in Alabama tomorrow a little before 12pm. Hopefully everything will be running on time!!! Tomorrow I will finally get to see the love of my life!!!!!! YAY!! Just a few more hours!!!!

If you don't count today.....

2006-08-01T12:04:00.000-04:00

....there are only 2 days left before I see Drew again!!!!! I am just slightly excited. Yeah, only slightly.....YAY!!!!!!!!!!!!! Just 2 more days!!!!!

Another poem....

2006-07-29T09:57:00.000-04:00

This poem was sent to me by my friend Renee.

The Wait Poem

by Russell Kelfer

Desperately, helplessly, longingly, I cried;

Quietly, patiently, lovingly, God replied.

I pled and I wept for a clue to my fate...

and the Master so gently said, "Wait."

"Wait? you say wait?" my indignant reply.

"Lord, I need answers, I need to know why!

Is your hand shortened? Or have you not heard?

By faith I have asked, and I'm claiming your Word.

My future and all to which I relate

hangs in the balance and you tell me to Wait?

I'm needing a 'yes', a go-ahead sign.

Or even a 'no', to which I'll resign.

You promised, dear Lord, that if we believe,

We need but to ask, and we shall receive.

Lord, I've been asking, and this is my cry:

I'm weary of asking! I need a reply."

Then quietly, softly, I learned of my fate

as my Master replied again, "Wait."

So I slumped in my chair, defeated and taut,

and grumbled to God, "So, I'm waiting...for what?"

He seemed then to kneel, and His eyes met with mine...

and he tenderly said, "I could give you a sign.

I could shake the heavens and darken the sun.

I could raise the dead and cause mountains to run.

I could give all you seek and pleased you would be.

You'd have what you want, but you wouldn't know me.

You'd not know the depth of My love for each saint.

You'd not know the power that I give to the faint.

You'd not learn to see through the clouds of despair;

You'd not learn to trust just by knowing I'm there.

You'd not know the joy of resting in Me

When darkness and silence are all you can see.

You'd never experience the fullness of love

When the peace of My spirit descends like a dove.

You would know that I give, and I save, for a start,

But you'd not know the depth of the beat of My heart.

The glow of My comfort late into the night,

The faith that I give when you walk without sight.

The depth that's beyond getting just what you ask

From an infinite God who makes what you have last.

You'd never know should your pain quickly flee,

What it means that My grace is sufficient for thee.

Yes, your dearest dreams overnight would come true,

But oh, the loss if I lost what I'm doing in you.

So, be silent, my child, and in time you will see

That the greatest of gifts is to truly know me.

And though oft My answers seem terribly late,

My most precious answer of all is still WAIT".

Only one week left!!!!!

2006-07-28T22:53:00.000-04:00

Only one more week and I will be in Alabama!!! It is the trip that I have been looking forward to for about 2 years!!! I can't believe it is almost here!!! Yay!!! I am really nervous, though! I have no clue what it will be like down there!! I am super excited though! ONE MORE WEEK!!!!!!!!

One month passed.....

2006-07-28T22:34:00.000-04:00

It is incredibly hard to believe, but one month ago today my mom passed away. In some ways it still feels like she is here and just on vacation and coming back soon, but in other ways the reality that she is gone and never coming back is all too real. One thing that is for sure is that God has just pulled me ever closer to His side in the last month and in ways I feel like a different person. I see things so much differently now than I did a month ago. I pray differently, make my choices differently, and think differently. I guess I am not as afraid to die in some ways too. I miss being able to go to mom and get a hug whenever I needed one. I can't wait to get another hug from her one day. I also think about heaven alot more. I try to think about what it is like and what mom is doing and experiencing. Of course, none of my thoughts even come close to how awesome it is in heaven. I also find myself more concerned for the souls of those around me. Death is a real thing and it can come quicker than any of us would ever want it to. We need to get others prepared for what waits after death. We need to tell others of the saving grace that God has given us.
Something neat that someone shared with me concerning mom was how when she was here on earth she loved teaching her first grade class. She mentioned that her favorite part of teaching was the opportunity to give those children the Gospel and then watch as those children gave their hearts to Jesus. When I was mentioning how I long to work with children and teenagers and have the same opportunities someone who was very close friends with mom told me that I am in a way carrying on my mom's work. I am following in her footsteps. That thought meant so very much to me! I can't wait to do the Lords work, but then to think that I am following in my mom's footsteps just makes it even more special. My mom was a very very special lady! I miss her so very very much!

Waiting On God

2006-07-28T22:10:00.000-04:00

Here is a poem that is in my devotional "Waiting on God" by Andrew Murray. The poem is by Freda Hanbury. It goes along with the verse in Psalms 62:5 which says, "My soul, wait thou only upon God.

"Wait only upon God"; my soul, be still,

And let thy God unfold His perfect will,

Thou fain would'st follow Him throughout this year,

Thou fain with listening heart His voice would'st hear,

Thou fain would'st be a passive instrument

Possessed by God, and ever Spirit-sent

Upon His service sweet--then be thou still,

For only thus can He in thee fulfill

His heart's desire. Oh, hinder not His hand

From fashioning the vessel He hath planned.

"Be silent unto God," and thou shalt know

The quiet, holy calm He doth bestow

On those who wait on Him; so shalt thou bear

His presence, and His life and light e'en where

The night is darkest, and thine earthly days

Shall show His love, and sound His glorious praise.

And He will work with hand unfettered, free,

His high and holy purposes through thee.

First on thee must that hand of power be turned,

Till in His love's strong fire thy dross is burned,

And thou come forth a vessel for thy Lord,

So frail and empty, yet, since He hath poured

Into thine emptiness His life, His love,

Henceforth through thee the power of God shall move

And He will work for thee. Stand still and see

The victories thy God will gain for thee;

So silent, yet so irresistible,

Thy God shall do the thing impossible.

Oh, question not henceforth what thou canst do;

Thou canst do nought. But He will carry through

The work where human energy had failed,

Where all thy best endeavors had availed

Thee nothing. Then, my soul, wait and be still;

Thy God shall work for thee His perfect will.

If thou wilt take no less, His best shall be

Thy portion now and through eternity.

A Peace that Passes All Understanding

2006-07-19T11:18:00.000-04:00

As most of you know who have been keeping up with my posts, I am trying to figure out what the Lord would have me to do regarding this coming fall and spring and school. Through seeking the Lord and His leading I can say that I have an idea as to what I need to be doing. Preparing for the ministry. Drew is looking to become a youth pastor. He is studying and learning in school and at his home church what he needs to to be a great youth pastor. I need to do what I can to learn how to be a great youth pastors wife. Right now I have a six thousand dollar debt from school that I need to pay off before me and Drew get married. That debt could become a problem in the ministry. So, this fall I am going to be working two jobs to pay off this debt as soon as possible before any interest kicks in. It kicks in next Christmas. Then next summer begins the training!!! I am going to counsel at the Wilds!! It is something I have always wanted to do and something that Drew said will help me alot in the ministry!! Hopefully by then I will have had my debt paid off. It is my goal.
About a month ago I was really struggling with whether I should go back to school and then trying to decide which school. I would love to be able to go back to BJU, but with finances and time short I was looking into some community colleges where I could just finish. Everytime I thought about going back to school or looked into a new college I would get an odd feeling in my stomach. Something didn't feel right. So, I prayed. I took a week and just prayed. I feel God calling me in another direction other than Interior Design. Yes, I love to decorate and help people decorate and give them ideas and stuff, but my heart has changed. What I want more than anything is to serve God in the ministry. To work with kids. To help kids grow. To lead kids to Jesus Christ. That is where my heart is. My heart is in the ministry. To do anything else would be to go against what I know God would have me to do. Ever since I made the decision to not go back to school, but to pay off my debt and then go to camp next summer I have had a peace in my heart. I know that this is the right decision. People have told me many times that I will regret not finishing my degree, but I don't see how that is possible when it is so obvious what I am supposed to be doing. Pursuing interior design will do nothing for eternity. Serving God with my life, that will count for eternity.
Since my mom passed away I think alot about what heaven is like and what my mom is doing. I guess I have more of a focus here on earth to make things count for heaven instead of doing what I know will only bring earthly gain.
There is no way that I could ever regret this decision because when I think about it I would rather help others see the awesome goodness and love of God than to help someone pick out a window treatment or rearrange their living room. When put in that perspective it is easy to see why I have the peace that can only come from God above!

Finding my Comforter in a Time of Need

2006-07-14T11:34:00.000-04:00

I never was told that losing your mom was an easy thing. All I was told was to snuggle up close to God during this hard time. I can say that it is easier said than done. I have often found my self wondering at the awful question "why?" Why mom? Why when she was so young and when we had so many things to look forward to sharing together? It still blows my mind to see the picture of her that is on my mirror in my room from last fall when she had so much life in her and so much to look forward to and to then realize that she is gone. I guess it is a little harder for me because out of everyone in my family I was closest to my mom. One thing that is true is that God does comfort us through His Word. I was reading mom's favorite passage in Psalms 27 last night before bed. In verse 5 it says: "For he (God) will hide me in his shelter in the day of trouble; he will conceal me under the cover of his tent; he will lift me high upon a rock." I was then reading in my favorite passage in Psalms 25. In verses 15-17 it says: "My eyes are ever toward the Lord, for he will pluck my feet out of the net. Turn to me and be gracious to me, for I am lonely and afflicted. The troubles of my heart are enlarged; bring me out of my distresses." After reading these passages I was reminded of the comfort that I can find in God. I was then reminded of how he is referred in Isaiah 51:12a which says: "I, I am he who comforts you." I do not understand why my mom left this earth at such a young age or why it had to be so hard or why I had to be left without my mom, but one thing I do know: God has a purpose for this. In 2 Corinthians 1:3-4 the Bible says: "Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our affliction, so that we may be able to comfort those who are in any affliction, with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God." Someone, somewhere, will eventually need comfort in a time either as hard or harder as what I am experiencing now. I need to get as much comfort from God and His Word now so that later on, down the road, I can share the comfort that God gave me during this time with someone searching for comfort later. A passage I want to share as I finish up this blog entry is found later on in 2 Corinthians chapter 1. Verse 7 says: "Our hope for you is unshaken, for we know that as you share in our sufferings, you will also share in our comfort." Our comfort comes from God. If you need to find this comfort read these passages that I have shared. It is only by His strength that we can get through these hard times in our lives.

An Eerie Calm After Life's Most Powerful Storm

2006-07-09T22:22:00.000-04:00

Well, here I am, two days short of two weeks after losing my most inspiring best friend -- my Mom. My family has all left, except my grandparents, and my dad, sisters, and me are trying to find some sort of normal. To try to describe the void in our lives I can only come up with the word "weird". I know for dad it is really hard. I couldn't imagine losing a spouse. It hurts bad enough losing a Mother. She was such a bright beacon of comfort and support and strength to all of us. She battled cancer for many many years. I want to say at least 10 years. I am being really careful at what I type because if I type anything full of memories or special about mom I will lose it again. I do not see crying as a bad thing, but I just don't want to cry right now. I do sometimes wonder if mom can read these posts that I put on this website. I hope she does. She knows I love her and will never ever forget her, but I just want her to continue to know that.
Home isn't even remotely the same anymore. I was helping dad tonight with all the "thank-you" cards, and I was going through mom's memory book from the funeral that everyone signed, and I just still can't believe she is gone. I guess in a way it still feels like she is just off on vacation and will be back soon, or out at the store, or something. The fact that she will never walk through the house again or greet me as I come through the door after work with a hug, or smile at me in her loving way hasn't quite hit.
Alrighty, thats about all I can write for now. The screen is blurry! I'll share some more about my lovely Mom as time goes on. I do want to thank everybody who sent us money, flowers, or cards. You all may never truly know how grateful we were to know there were people who were touched by such a wonderful sweetheart of a woman...my Mom. Thank you!

I Miss You, Mom!

2006-07-07T10:02:00.000-04:00

On Wednesday, June 28th, around 3:15pm, my mom was healed completely! She was taken into the loving and healing arms of Jesus and received a new body that would never hurt again! My mom will be incredibly missed by everyone who knew her. Especially me, dad, and my sisters. But the comfort is that she is not suffering with cancer anymore and will never have to again. She was a beautiful lady and the memories of her will be with me for the rest of my life. She has greatly inspired me and was a great woman of God. A special lady whom I love and will continue to love for the rest of my life!

Hard Times

2006-06-28T09:27:00.000-04:00

It has been just a couple days since I last posted and mom's health is just deteriorating. Dad doesn't think she is going to make it through the day. Her breathing is really odd. I guess the correct word would be shallow, but I am not sure if it is the correct word or not. I went in to see her this morning. It is hard for me to sit by her bedside, especially alone. I held her hand and she opened her eyes partially and managed a weak smile. It took everything I had inside to not throw myself in her arms and just plead for her to come back. When dad came into the room about 5 minutes later I had to leave. Last night I thought I was done crying. That is all I have done since I woke up this morning. Dad tells me she is in no pain right now and that when it is time she will go very peacefully and it will just be like she goes to sleep. This makes me feel a little better.
Drew is coming up today. I don't know when he will get here. It might be later today or tomorrow morning. I hope he gets here before anything happens.
I want to thank all of you who have been praying for us. Your prayers mean alot.

Sad News

2006-06-26T23:33:00.000-04:00

It is mom. Things have gone from bad to worse. She had a CAT scan today. The cancer has spread into her liver, stomach, and intestines. We won't know anything more until tomorrow when we hear from her doctor. I can't say this has come as a surprise to me. I had an awful gut renching feeling the results wouldn't be good, but there was a part of me that was really holdin out to hear some good news or some not so awful news. The feeling of knowing that your mom is slowing being taken away from you is a feeling that I can hardly explain. If I could do one thing, it would be to encourage anyone reading this to find your mom wherever she may be and give her a great big hug and tell her you love her. She may not always be there. The hardest thing for me is the memories of days gone by. The thought that I may never feel my mom's fingers playing in my hair, or be able to go out to lunch or spend a day shopping together tears my heart to shreds. Cherish the moments with your mom as much as you can. And never take her for granted. Moms are one of lifes most precious gifts.

A Bump in the Road and a Bright Ray of Sunshine!

2006-06-21T20:53:00.000-04:00

Here I am again...and things keep getting more complicated. I got a phone call from Northern Virginia Community College with the awful information that none of my credits would transfer. So, I have a month to figure out what I am going to do. There is a couple posiblities in Alabama, and one in Florida. I can stay with Drews family in Alabama and my grandparents in Florida. We will see what happens. For those of you reading this, please please PLEASE pray for me. The Lord has put the desire in my heart to pursue this degree. I don't know where the Lord is going to place me.
On a different note...I was babysitting my friend Debbie's kids and I had the opportunity to talk with one of her daughters, Alora, and we started talking about God and stuff...well, I told her about Jesus and how he died for us and all, and then she just kinda pondered it all and while I was doing dishes a bit later came downstairs and told me that she went to her room and asked Jesus to come into her heart and forgive her of her sins and to be with her forever! It made my day to hear that! One thing is for sure! I want to work with kids and be around kids for the rest of my life!

Shocking News!

2006-06-14T11:57:00.000-04:00

Last Friday night I came home from hanging with my buddy Robyn to a big surprise. It was late and I was surprised to see my sisters boyfriends truck still in our driveway. I walked in the house and there is everyone having a pow wow in my living room. So, just thinkin nuthing of it I plop down on the couch totally exhausted. Next thing I know mom is telling me to say hello to my new future brother in law. I freak out (inside of course), and look over and there is my sister and her boyfriend turned fiance and my sister has this huge rock sittin on her finger. I had quite a few mixed emotions of course. She is only 18 and still has alot of growing up to do (as do I, but there is a huge difference between 18 and 21). I was happy for her because I know she is crazy about this guy, but couldn't help to notice the sinking feeling in my gut because of the stories I have heard about couples who get married that young and have lots of problems. And then there was the typical feeling of "Thats not fair! I was supposed to get engaged first cuz I'm the oldest!" Totally a selfish approach that I had to silence immediately and kick myself for even thinking that.
So, in conclusion, I am happy for my little sister. I don't think it is the wisest decision this soon since they are so young, but God is in control. I will just pray really really hard that if it is God's will for them to be together now that they would do well together, and if it isn't God's will for them to marry that they would realize it before it is too late. Congrats Jen!

Twist of Events

2006-06-09T18:02:00.000-04:00

It is odd how one day you can see life going one way for you and then the next your outlook is completely different. It has been a while since I have posted on my blog. Main reason being that I was at school the whole month of May knocking out two more classes. But now I am home and life is crazy. Mom's health has gotten worse since i last posted on here. She weighs under 100 lbs, and is having a hard time keeping food down without meds. It has been really hard seeing her like this. But God has given me grace thus far and His grace will continue in the days to come. Of this I am certain.
The school situation has taken a turn I would have never thought possible. I am now looking into and have already applyed to finish my education at Northern Virginia Community College. Going this direction seems to just abound with positive aspects. I will essentially save about 24 thousand dollars this way, will be able to graduate by Christmas as long as all my credits transfer, I will be able to get married sooner....BIG PERK!, and I will be able to be here with mom, among many other plusses.
As for the rest of my summer....I am looking forward to going to visit my wonderful boyfriend in August for a week and a half, and then get to work at the Wilds for the very last week, and then until then work my tail off!!!
So as of right now, this is the direction my life is heading in. We shall see what the Lord is going to do through all these changes and twists in my road of life! Until then I shall just continue to drive along trusting the Lord to lead me along the way.

Almost here!!!

2006-05-02T13:35:00.000-04:00

Only 16 hours and 26 minutes to go before I see the love of my life again! I am getting so excited! I am finally packed, I just have to clean my room a bit! lol!!! It is going to be so wonderful to be with him again! Oh! Now only 16 hours and 25 minutes remaining!!!! Yay!!!!

Another Countdown!!!!

2006-04-29T21:56:00.000-04:00

In three days I will be back with my Sweetheart! Yay! I totally can't wait! I miss him soooo much! The only bummer is that a week from Monday I gotta start my summer school. But before that I get to spend time with my Hunny!!! Only three more days!

Update on things

2006-04-24T23:36:00.000-04:00

Things are going great! I have already finished one of the rooms at my first clients house. It looks so much better! Totally uncluttered! It is more open and spacious and more inviting! It was so much fun too! The next project is going to be her husbands study and probably the bedroom. I have three guys from my church helpin me move furniture as well. It is a great experience and something that is so much fun!
Next Wednesday, the 3rd of May, I will be with my Hunny again! I am sooo excited! It has been over a month since I last saw him! Then on the 8th I will be starting summer school. Totally not looking forward to that! I will be taking my last semester of Spanish and a speech class. It should be interesting.
Mom is doing ok. They took three liters of fluid from her tummy today. That is still alot, but it is down from where it has been. Dad has taken a leave of absense from work this last month and is going to do it again for another month. So things have been really tight money-wise. But God has been good. He has given us little blessings here and there.
Other than that things are pretty much as normal as they possibly could be.

Lots of New Possibilities!

2006-04-05T10:35:00.000-04:00

I can't believe all that has happened in just the last three days! It all began on Monday. I woke up at 10am and then got a call at 10:20am from my boss saying that I was supposed to be at work. Somehow the schedule had gotten changed from Saturday when I wrote it down and I wasn't informed! lol! So, I thought I was in the dog house. I rush to work and only get there an hour late and begin apologizing profusly! My boss just laughs and says not to worry about it! (I like her!) SO, a few minutes later she tells me she wants to talk to me about something....guilty conscience sets in automatically....she goes into this whole long discussion about how some of her clients are asking for design tips when it comes to space planning and such in their homes. She doesn't feel qualified to charge them for that service since she isn't trained. So...she debated going back to school and all and then thought of me. I have been seni-trained in this stuff and am in the process of training. So, she offered me to work out of the store kind of as an interior designer. Basically it would be my own thing where I would determine pay and stuff...and she would just include my price in her clients bills. So....I told her that I would like to do some research and get in touch with some of my teachers at BJU. She told me thats fine. So, these last 2 days I have gotten in touch with my teachers who then got me in touch with some interior design grads in my area who could help me out. Then one of those interior design grads began talking to one of her friends in the field who is a top guy and he is looking around at some of the big firms in my area and getting my name out there. I am supposed to get a call later today with a list of firms that are looking for interns. I need to do an internship as part of my study at school. So...basically all this has turn a good thing into a super awesome great thing! I don't know when I will be able to do the internship. I don't know if I could do it right along with work or not this summer or if I could do it during Christmas break....I am wanting to go back to the Wilds to counsel maybe next summer....so I am in the midst of many many many big decisions! And 4 days ago I had no clue what this week would hold for me! lol! So, please pray for me as I kinda see what the design world is really like. And kinda get a feel for some things. I have alot of great opportunities at my fingertips...but I just need to know what it is that God would have me do. I feel a great pull towards the ministry so I am very hesitant to get into anything too much. I also do not see myself full time in the interior design field. I see myself as a wife to a sweet guy who has a big heart for the ministry. I don't know why alot of these doors seem to be opening in my field of study....it could be a pull in the opposite direction from Satan trying to keep me from the ministry, I do not know...or it could be opportunities for me to learn some things that will benefit me later on. Or maybe there is some lesson that I am supposed to learn through all of this. I don't know....I am just going to follow my Masters leading. And put extra special prayer into my decisions.

A Dream Weekend

2006-03-21T20:54:00.000-05:00

What an awesome weekend I had while down at college! Looking back it feels like a complete dream. Almost as if it had never happened. But it did! It all began Friday morning when Drew picked me up from the train station at 5am. We hung out and went to the Waffle House for breakfast! That was definitely an experience! The food was good! But definitely southern cookin! I got to see all my friends and go to society meeting and to class with Drew! I also got my eyebrows waxed for the first time by Jana, Drews sister who is a cosmotology student. Friday ended with the Championship bball game and a lock in in the gym. Saturday was probably my favorite day of the weekend. Me and Drew woke up early and went downtown and had a picnic in the park. There was a beautiful waterfall and some huge rocks farther down the river. We walked down the river a ways and found a huge rock, climbed on top and just talked for a good hour or so. Then we skipped rocks, and walked around a bit more. It was so fun! Then we went into some of the shops in downtown. Later that afternoon we met up with some other friends and got pizza and went bowling. That was fun! That evening we went to the opera and I wore my new red dress!!! Sunday was more laid back. We went to church and then lunch and then Drew was so tired from the two days activities so he took a nap the rest of the afternoon and we met up that evening. Monday was fun as well. It was Bible Conference so we went to the services, but in the afternoon me and Drew went bowling and then to the mall. It was nice just getting to be together alone. Then he took me to the train station where it was time for us to say good-bye. That was the hardest part of the whole weekend. There were tears and promises of times to come, but we both knew that it wouldn't be for another month before we gazed into each others eyes again. I already miss him so much, but I have so many memories to hold on to and another visit in a month to look forward to. This weekend was definitely one of the best ever!

The Bestest Countdown Begins!

2006-03-13T11:57:00.000-05:00

Ok, only three more days till I get to see Drew again! I am so excited! I leave out of here at 8pm on Thursday night! And I will get to Greenville at 5am Friday morning! I cannot wait! My weekend is going to be so much fun! I get to hang out with Chris Friday morning since he is picking me up (bless his heart! He is so sweet!). Then he is going to take me over to campus! I get to go to society like old times and get to stay with my old roomies! Then meet up with Drew for lunch and hang out with him for the rest of the day! I get to even go to class with him! There is the championship bball game that night and then the girls side of campus is having a lock-in at the gym till 5am Sat morning! So, I'll get to have fun with my friends!!! Then Saturday a bunch of us are going out as a group! And me and Drew are going to the opera that night and getting all dressed up!!!! Then sunday and monday start Bible Conference and are more laid back, but I'll get to spend alot of time with Drew!!! It is just going to be so very very nice! I can't wait! I get to be with Drew again!!!! YAY!!!! I miss him so very very much! This past weekend was the 2 year mark since we first met! Hard to believe! It has been the most wonderful two years of my life! Well...only three more days to go!!!

The Happnins

2006-03-05T22:55:00.000-05:00

Wow! It has been a little while since I last posted on here! Things have been super busy! Mom is home and doing ok. She gets so tired so quickly! She is continuing her treatments here at home. Work is going very well! I got a raise! I am now making nine dollars an hour instead of eight! I am getting a new cell phone as well! It should be coming in the next couple of days! It has a camera and video feature on it so I will be able to get some more pics on here really soon!
I am going to Bob Jones in just two more weeks to see my sweet boyfriend again! I can't wait! I am so excited! Other than that there really isn't anything else real interesting happnin here on the homefront! Just the same ol' stuff. But thats never really a bad thing.
Oh! My cut has healed nicely. I got the stitches off on Thursday and it just looks like a nice big scab! Yuck! Hopefully the scar won't be too aweful bad!
Well, that all for now! So, until next time......

Quicky Update!

2006-02-22T22:58:00.000-05:00

Well, the excitement is over for now (I hope!) and things are kinda getting back to normal. My family is home again sp that is always good! Mom is ok. She has her moments where she doesn't feel good, but that is expected. She does have a very positive outlook on things which is really good! My sisters are back to school and dad will be going back to work next week! My leg is a little better. It still hurts sometimes. Mostly it is inside like a bone ache. The stitches are healing up rather nicely. And I ditched the stupid crutches. They were driving me up a wall! I get to go back to work tomorrow and I get to take my first marketing test tomorrow! Yay!! Life is kinda almost back to a state of normal (or at least as close as it could possibly get!).

Bad things come in 3's!

2006-02-20T14:11:00.000-05:00

Wow!!! I sure didn't see this comin! I have had a very interesting last 3 days of my life! It all started on Saturday night. Me and Megan had just come home from babysitting her niece and nephew. It was about 9:30 at night. We pulled up my driveway and it was real dark because our lights had blown out there a couple days before. We were debating whether or not to go around the front of the house because it was lit or just go in the garage like usual. We decided to go through the front. I was joking around and rung the doorbell to "scare off the burglars!" and then we went inside. Megan went to go change and I went to let the dog out. I opened the door to the garage and saw the door to outside wide open! I shut the door and ran to tell Megan. She called her dad who is an officer and he said to call the police. We did. He also said to get away from the windows and into a stairwell. We did. Then we listened. And ten minutes later we heard a car pull into our driveway, then someone outside the house. We figured it was the police till we heard the car speed away. We were kinda confused and totally freaked out when ten minutes later the police showed up at our door. They searched the house and outside and said they saw nothing suspicious. Then after they left Megan called her dad and he said that is sounds like we got home just in time and that they had gone into the garage through the door (which can just be pushed in cuz the lock is jammed, but we usually dead bolt) and waited there till we got into the house and then ran to the woods called their buddies to pick em up and that was that.
Then the excitement didn't end there. Sunday morning I am going into church. I shake the greeters hand and kaplowee! I totally trip over my own two feet and fall right in the door way! I was totally embarrassed! Until I noticed the river of blood flowing down my leg! That's when I freaked! I don't remember too much after that cept that there was blood everywhere and somebody helped me down to the restroom where they removed my pantyhose and tried to get everything cleaned up. They stuck a makeshift turnaquet on my leg. A couple ladies had blood all over their Sunday dresses, the bathroom floor was splattered, the carpet going up to the door had big patches, my shoes were stained, and I was being rushed to the hospital! I had a nice hole in my leg about 4 inches down from my knee. I ended up having to get 8 stitches and am on crutches for the next few days! It is definitely quite interesting! Here are a few pics!!!
Then this morning I get a phone call tellin me that my car (which is still at church because I can't drive) has its interior light on. So, my parents are going to swing by cuz they are on their way back from Florida and pick it up. Hopefully the battery is not totally dead by the time they get there!!
Wow! Talk about an exciting weekend! Lets just hope I don't have another like it for a very very very very long time if not ever!

What a week!

2006-02-17T08:59:00.000-05:00

Wow!!! Where did the week go?? It has definately been crazy!! Between babysitting, work, school, and hanging out with friends the week somehow just flew by! It has definately been a good one though! I've been helpin my friend Debbie with her kids or just hanging out with her or sorting through loads of girl scout cookies (yum!) with her! And then I have been working every day cept yesterday and today. So that has been loads of fun! I have also finished alot in my Principles of Marketing class! I am about ready to take the first test. I'm hoping to take it either Sunday or Monday. I gotta talk to my pastor to see which day is best for him. All that beautiful snow is going away, but they are sayin we may get more every day next week!!!! So that'll be tons of fun!
Mom and dad and the girls come back on Monday! I can't wait! I miss them so much! I enjoy being on my own and being independent, but I really miss my family!
And exactly one month from today I will be with my sweet, adorable, boyfriend again!!! YAY!!!! I miss him so much! I can't wait to just hang out with him and stuff! It'll be really nice to be together again!
Well, thats about all the goings on here! Nothing too exciting! lol! So until next time.....80)

Walkin in A Winter Wonderland!

2006-02-12T09:52:00.000-05:00

How beautiful everything was when I woke up this morning and looked out the window! While I was asleep and throughout the course of the last day God had turned my quiet neighborhood into a Winter Wonderland! Everything is covered with snow! Even the trees! And it is still snowing big snow flakes lightly. I feel like I woke up inside one of those beautiful houses you see in snow globes and that I am inside that snowglobe! Here are just a few pictures! I was still in my jamies and didn't really feel like trudging out just yet. But I got a few good ones! Here is a glimpse into my God created snowglobe!

Snow Days!!!!!

2006-02-11T19:19:00.000-05:00

Yay! We are currently in the process of getting a wonderful snow storm! I know most people wouldn't call a snow storm wonderful, but I do! It makes the monotany of life more interesting! I was supposed to work 10 hours this weekend, but my boss called this mornin and said she wasn't goin to open this weekend. So, that was bittersweet! I wanted to work cuz I need the money, but I have the weekend free to play in the snow and act like a kid again! I love just looking out the window and feelin like I am in a snow globe! Me and Megan are probably going to go sledding tomorrow! I am so excited! We are supposed to get up to a foot of fresh powder! Yay!
On another note, my family was supposed to be coming home on Monday, but my parents talked to someone at the clinic they are at and were highly suggested to stay another week. I miss my family terribly, but if it means mom getting more treatments and the cancer going away then I am fine with it. I enjoy being on my own, but I am a people person and I love having people around me all the time. A characteristic my boyfriend finds insane, cuz he likes to have his alone time where he can just think in peace and quiet! lol! What a cutie!
Well, life is grand! My correspondence class is going well. I am just very thankful that my dad is an accountant! Marketing is not really my thing. Plus, I have a massive project due for the class and I am not quite sure how to go about finding some of the info that I need!
Oh well, I hope you are doing well wherever you are. Whether it is snowing, raining, or the day is full of abundant sunshine, I wish you well!

A lil bit of encouragement!

2006-02-09T09:26:00.000-05:00

While reading in Psalms this morning during my Bible reading I read this verse that I wanted to share with you.
Psalms 9:9-10, "The Lord is a stronghold for the oppressed, a stronghold in times of trouble. And those who know your name put their trust in you, for you, O Lord, have not forsaken those who seek you.
For me, this verse is a comfort. Me and my family are going through a hard time right now, but we are trusting the Lord and going to Him as our comfort and our solid rock.
Maybe this is what you needed today too, but don't know how to seek the Lord because you do not know Him personally. May I encourage you to find Him today. All you have to do is realize that Jesus died for you on a cross many years ago and that he died to wash away all your sins and so that you would be able to live with Him one day in heaven. He did this for you and has left all of us with a choice. A choice to either follow Him or reject Him.
Please, if you have not already done so ask Him to forgive you of your sins and ask Him to come into your heart today and save you. Follow Him. He is The Way, The Truth, and The Life. There is no other way to heaven but through Jesus. If you still aren't sure click on the link that says, "Are you Born Again?" on the right side of my blog.
You may not have another chance to make the decision to follow Christ. We do not know how many more days we have here on earth. We do not know how many more breaths we have to take. Your next breath could be your last. If you die without making the choice to follow Christ, the only other choice is to follow Satan. If you die without Christ you go to hell. Plain and simple. So, may I leave you today with two questions....Who are you following today? and Where will you spend eternity?

Update on Mom

2006-02-08T22:46:00.000-05:00

As most of those who are probably reading this already know, my mom is at a clinic in West Palm Beach, Florida getting treatment for ovarian cancer. I thought that I would give a quick update on how she is doing.
She is going through a Living Foods program where all she eats are raw veggies and sprouts. She also drinks wheatgrass juice and stuff like that. It is naturopathic therapy that she is receiving. Basically the whole point is to build the bodies immune system so that the body can heal itself of the cancer because we do have self healing bodies.
So far things have been going well. We won't be able to find out how the cancer is actually porgressing till they come home this coming Monday and we take her to have a scan, but she is doing ok.
The only real problem has been with a fluid build up in her stomache that is a result of the cancer. Tomorrow she is going to get her stomache drained of the fluid. The fluid has been causing her some discomfort, especially at night which has affected her sleep.
So since we do not know what kind of an impact these treatments are having on the cancer all we can do is pray and trust the Lord that he will take care of her.
I believe that the Lord is going to work through this and heal my mom completely. But I also have to understand that it might be His perfect will for the cancer to stay. If that is the case I just need to trust God that he knows what is best for mom and that he is going to take care of her no matter what.
My request to all who may read this is that you pray for my mom in a special way. Pray that the Lord's perfect will will be done in this situation and that he would help my family to continue to trust Him for whatever the outcome.
Thank you to all who have been and will be praying! It means so very very much to me and my family!

An Opportunity

2006-02-07T08:57:00.000-05:00

This is one of the quotemails that I got from a friend of mine at college. It really spoke to me. So I decided to share it with those who might read my blog...

“The pessimist sees a difficulty in every opportunity. The optimist sees an opportunity in every difficulty.” –J. Oswald Sanders

James 1:12 Blessed is the man that endureth temptation: for when he is tried, he shall receive the crown of life, which the Lord hath promised to them that love him.

Psalms 71:5 For thou art my hope, O Lord GOD: thou art my trust from my youth.

God’s goal for us is to become like him—which is not easy for you and I all of the time by any means, but each circumstance is placed in our lives by God that we may hope and trust in Him through it to become more like him! See the opportunity before you today, and hope and trust in God who loves you and really does want the best for your life! ~mattheweathers

Psalms 16:11 Thou wilt shew me the path of life: in thy presence is fullness of joy; at thy right hand there are pleasures for evermore.

My Love

2006-02-03T09:57:00.000-05:00

This is a picture taken two years ago of my boyfriend, Drew. He has been the biggest encouragement to me over the years and has loved me almost unconditionally. I will never stop thanking my Lord for bringing such an incredible man into my life! He has shared his Biblical knowledge with me many many times when I didn't quite understand something and I look up to him in so many ways! (he is also 6'4", so I really do look up to him!) He is my Sweetheart and the love of my life!
He loves to make me laugh! When we fisrt met and asked each other what some of our favorite things to do are we both mentioned laughing! I would have to say over the last 2 years that we have shared many many laughs! And many smiles! I feel that my life is complete with Drew in it. It is such an amazing feeling just to know that even though me and him are far away for this semester he is still praying for me and thinking about me. He is my best friend! I love you, Drew!

Another day....

2006-02-01T11:03:00.000-05:00

Well, here we are at another day. Yesterday was kind of interesting in that my dog succeeded in ticking me off by getting out of her room during the night and pooping on the basement carpet. Yeah, I wasn't too happy about that. But I got to go to work and my boss is really cool. I enjoy my job very much! And I am learning alot!
Today, I get to go back to work. So that is exciting! And I think I am going to pick my dog up a really big dog bone to keep her occupied so she doesn't try to escape again. I don't know how she figured out how to open her gate. It isn't a very easy thing. I still have a hard time getting it locked. Oh well, I guess they were right when they said that Golden Retrievers were very smart. Stupid smart dog.

Well, while reading my Proverb for the day this morning I decided to start a section each day on this blog where I share a Proverb a day that stood out to me in my devotions. Today's Proverb is chapter 1 verse 7 that says:
"The fear of the Lord is the beginning of knowledge; fools despise wisdom and instruction."
In order to get the knowledge we need from the Bible we must first fear the Lord. That doesn't mean to be afraid of Him, but rather to honor, love and respect Him so much that you are afraid to do otherwise. Whenever I read this verse it really makes me think about how I am honoring, loving, and respecting my Lord throughout my daily walk. We can show honor, love, and respect for the Lord in many ways. Through what we say, do, watch, listen to, places we go, things we read, and even think about. So, I challenge you to fear the Lord today in everything that you do!

What a day!

2006-01-30T19:21:00.000-05:00

I don't think anything else could possibly go wrong today! It is kinda funny! So, this morning I woke up like normal and went to check my email and get breakfast. I wanted to run out today and visit two ladies from my church who are in the hospital, but had to stay home until the flowers my parents had odered for me were delivered. So...I am just tryin to be patient and all, but can't stand being cooped up in the house. I had to use the bathroom real quick around 11:35ish so I went in and did my business, flushed, washed my hands, turned out the light and left...well, I had hardly gone out the door of the bathroom when I hear what sounds like Niagra Falls in my bathroom! I turned around and turned on the light and sure enough my toilet had decided to spill over and was working on forming a mini lake on the floor! Ok, so my parents are out of town and I wasn't quite sure how to fix this particular problem except to plunge the tiolet to death! So, I ran upstairs, grabbed a pair of heeled shoes (I was not stepping in that water bare footed, ick!), and grabbed the plunger. Once back downstairs I couldn't believe the mess! It was so gross! So, I waded through the lake towards the possessed toilet and just started plunging my little heart out. Didn't work. In fact, I think I made the stupid toilet even madder. More water started pouring out! I didn't know what to do so I looked at my watch and decided to call my boyfriends cousin Chris to see if he had an idea of how to stop the evil potty! He had no clue....so I looked at my watch and decided to call my Wonder Boy (my boyfriend, Drew). He was in chapel still when I called Chris and knew he would be out now and hopefully in his room! So, I called Drew and sure nuff he was there! I asked him what to do and after laughing at the funny little predictament I had managed to get myself into he took me step by step through the process of defeating my sinister potty! After cleaning up the mess in time to answer the door and recieve the beautiful bouquet of flowers from my parents, I was finally ready to run into town! Thank the Lord for life's simple pleasures!
Little did I know that the day was only beginning. After visiting the ladies at the hospital, I needed to run by the bank and deposit my paycheck. So, I parked in a parking space and filled out my deposit slip and all and then went to drive to the drive up teller window. I put the key in the ignition and turned and nothing happened. No clicks, no anything. I couldn't believe it. So, thinking that it was just being stubborn and not really wanting to deal with the problem just then went inside to deposit my check. The lady asked me how my day was going. I couldn't lie so I told her it was pretty bad. And briefly shared with her the Potty Problem and now my stupid car problem. NEVER BUY A FORD (just wanted to share that with ya!). So, she told me she had jumper cables in her car and that this guy who worked there could help me. Well, we got everything hooked up and I went to start the car and there was still nothing. The guys (there were now two, and they both knew way more about cars than I will ever know!) told me that there was no way for it to work and that it was really truly dead. So....I called our mechanic who called the towing company, who finally came to my rescue. He cleaned off the battery and told me to start the car. It started! It was fine. All I have to do is replace the erroded cables and all will be fine. So....finally, I could breathe and go home. I was so tired by this time and only wanted to go home and work out. So....I drove home and now I am safe and sound and hope that I never have another day like today! lol!

My 21st Birthday!

2006-01-30T09:40:00.000-05:00

Wow! What a fun day I had on Saturday! Me and my friend Megan (the one in black and red) went ice skating, shopping, out for dinner to Carrabbas, more shopping and then cosmic bowling. It was alot of fun! We were exhausted the next day in church! Here are some pictures of our crazy day!

Fully Surrendered!

2006-01-27T09:22:00.000-05:00

Yes, I have finally fully surrendered the entire situation with my mom to the Lord. I knew that something was wrong lately because I just couldn't read my Bible because everytime I did the word "trust" would jump out at me. I thought I was trusting, but the Lord through my boyfriend opened my eyes to what I was really doing. I was holding on to my mom and was trying to carry the weight of it all on my own and in my own strength. I really wasn't trusting at all. It was hurting my devotions (reading the Bible and praying). Last night, I called Drew (my sweet boyfriend) and confessed to him that something wasn't right and I couldn't figure out exactly what. Well, he asked me questions and shared some things with me....he didn't get real preachy, just told me exactly what I needed to hear. He knows me so well. Sometimes it feels like we share the same heart! Like even though we are hudreds of miles apart right now cuz he is at school and I am at home we still have the most amazing bond! I just completely broke last night. My eyes were opened to what I was doing to myself. And I surrendered. I surrendered everything to the God of the Universe who created me and knows my every thought and knows what tomorrow will bring. As soon as i did all I knew was complete peace. I understand now what the Bible calls "the peace that passes all understanding". I am experiencing it now even as I type this!
Yes, I don't know what the future holds for my mom, or what this cancer is going to do, but there is one thing that I do know....God is in complete control. He already knows what is going to happen and no matter what happens He will always be there for me to comfort me and lead me down His chosen path! What An Awesome God We Serve!

The Countdown Begins!

2006-01-26T17:40:00.000-05:00

WOW! Only 2 more days till I turn 21. I know it isn't really that big of a deal, but it is the way I have always been when it comes to birthdays. I guess its the kid that is still inside me!
Ok, so today I worked. It was so much fun! I love helping people decorate and pick out colors and fabrics and stuff! It is neat because people come in and tell me their ideas and then I begin to scheme with them! Like today, this lady came in and was so much fun! She knew what she was looking for and shared her ideas with me. I helped her find a beautiful fabric with a large print on it because she was decorating her bathroom and wanted the focal point to be the shower curtain! So, we just got to chattin and before we knew it I had helped her decided to pick out the pretty baby blue accent color to do on the walls and what color towels to use and it was just an absolute blast! Especially the feeling I got by helping this dear little lady make her house pretty! She came in with an idea, and left with a dream! She said she would be back next week when I am working and we could finalize everything together! I am so excited! I love my job!
Other than that my day has been pretty mundane except for that I came home and talked to my boyfriend and opened my mailbox and found, not one, but two birthday cards from his parents and sisters! It is such a blessing to have such sweet potential in-laws! Like sometimes it feels like a dream! I love his family and they love me. Like that doesn't always happen like that! I have been so blessed! The only way that life could possibly get better is if I got a phone call this instant from my parents saying that my mom's cancer has miraculously gone away. She has been through so much! She just finished chemo a year ago and not a year later is diagnosed with more ovarian cancer that they said is even more aggressive. It is really hard sometimes, but I am learning how much we need to lean on God and trust in Him for what ever happens. God has definately put me around very sweet people, though! People who are encouraging and who are just there when I need them! So, even through this trial I can still smile and know that my Lord and Savior is in control and won't give me andymore than I can handle! And he is the only one who can give me the strenth to get through! Ok, well, I guess thats it for my daily ramblings! Until next time......

Interesting thought....

2006-01-26T08:29:00.000-05:00

Well, this morning I went to check my email and a friend of mine (Matt) from school sends out daily quotemail. Today the message of the email kinda struck me. It said, "Where you are right now—today, is what God has for you right now and today. Walk worthy to that call, and dig in to the Word to find out what exactly the walk is supposed to look like! Seek to imitate Christ! Will your walk be perfect? No. You are not God, but strive to walk worthy through God-given grace that we all need today, and everyday." Sometimes I struggle with where I am today. Sometimes I just want to be back at school with my boyfriend and all my friends. This challenged me to stay the course that I am on and to strive to be Christ-like. Thanks Matt for this challenge today!

First daze!

2006-01-25T16:17:00.000-05:00

Wow! Here I am gettin kinda techy! Ok, so I got this genous idea from my sweet, loving boyfriends awesome cousin Chris! (The sweet and loving part describing my boyfriend!) So, I have been checkin out Chris's blog and seeing as I have alot more time on my hands now decided to join the world of blogs! Yay! This could be kinda fun!
Well, today was definately interesting! Woke up thinkin it was gonna be a bore, checked my email, and then checked the phone messages.....well, there was a message on there sayin a group from my University was gonna be at my old High school. So, since I am sitting out this semester because of a family situation decided to go and see if I knew who was in town! Turns out I totally did! So, I ditched the mornin workout and hung out with some cool people! It was fun! Then, I stopped at a gas station, and seein as my 21st birthday is this weekend I treated myself to a pint of Ben and Jerry's! Yum! So, life is pretty good! I am on my way to heaven, have a great boyfriend who loves me oh so dearly, and a super terrific family and totally awesome friends! Plus, I just got the coolest job! So, like I love interior design.....well, seeing as it is what I am studying in school and can't be at school right now, I got a job in the field! It is so cool! Well, thats about all for now..........wow.....I have a blog! Didn't think this would ever happen! Cool!