Just Four and a Half More Weeks!!!

It is so hard to believe that in just 4 1/2 weeks I will be married to my best friend and the man of my dreams!!! It is my last week at work and then I will be jumping head first into the last minute preparation for the big day!!! Thankfully I don't have that much stuff to prepare! The majority of it is already finished! Yay!!! All I have to do is put the last minute adjustments on the music and get everything squared away with the program and the rehearsal schedule!! It'll be here before I know it! This will most likely be my last post before I become the new Mrs. Matthews!!! Wow!!! Anyway...I will be sure to post the link to our pictures asap!! Well, here I go into the last weeks of being a single woman!!!

Joy

Things are going wonderfully! I was at Bible Conference last week and learned alot. I miss hearing that kind of preaching every day! It was also so very wonderful getting to see Drew again! It had been more than 2 months since we had seen each other. I stayed with Renee in her room. It was fun! I got to see all my friends again. I miss it there so much! I just don't miss the school work!
Well, there are only 2 more months till the wedding! Things are getting exciting! I love watching how everything just happens to work out just right! I have my next fitting on the 6th of April, and then my next shower on the 14th of April! Lots going on!!
The only point of sadness is that I am really missing mom this month. I have been thinking of her constantly and so many memories have been coming back to me. I wish she were here so badly! There are times I absolutely just ache for her to be able to pull me into her arms again and hug me close and stroke my hair like she would when I was younger. She always knew how to make everything better.
I sat in dad's room watching family videos all evening. Mom was such a beautiful woman both inwardly and outwardly! The way I like to think of it is that God knew how special mom was and couldn't stand to be apart from her so he took her home earlier than normal. I guess that the hardest part is not knowing why.
Anyway....this post is titled "Joy." Right now dad is in Michigan visiting his girlfriend, Kathy. She is such a wonderful woman. Very sweet and caring and she loves the Lord. I am so glad that dad has found his smile again!
The biggest lesson that I have learned in the last year is that God may bring very hard times into our lives, but he promises to never leave us nor forsake us and he will bring us joy in the midst of sorrow. This last year was a roller coaster ride of emotions. But without the joy that God brought into our lives we wouldn have never gotten past the sorrow. No matter how hard things might get in life, God is always there always willing to help us and give us the strength to get through the roughest storms and show us the joy that he has waiting for us on the other side. I have found Joy.

I Get To See My Almost Hubby!!!!

I am so excited!!! On Tuesday night at 8pm I will hop on the train and head to Greenville to see my wonderful almost husband!! I can't wait!! Less than 48 hours to go till I am on the train!!! It will be so wonderful to see him again! I haven't seen him since January 10th!!! That was way too long ago!!! It is Bible Conference week this week! I am so excited! I love Bible Conference week!! You learn so much and it is so neat hearing from such a neat variety of speakers!!!
Please be praying for Drew, he is currently in Barge....(the campus "hospital") and he is very sick!! Fever, coughing up stuff, miserable.....pray that he gets better before I get there on Wednesday!

Wedding Bells...

Wow! I can't believe that in less than 3 short months I am going to be married to the most wonderful man in all the world!!! This Saturday begins the craziness of the last days until the wedding. I have my first shower on Saturday. I am so excited!!! I am also sending out my invitations next week! Then 2 weeks from this Wednesday I am going down to visit my almost hubby!!! Bible Conference is in 2 weeks and I am going to be down there for the last half of Bible Conference week!!! I just can't wait to see Drew again! I haven't seen him since January! When I fianlly do see him it'll have been over 2 months!!! When I get back from BJU dad is going to Michigan to visit his girlfriend, Kathy for a week. On April 6th I have my second dress fitting. On April 14th I have my second wedding shower that my church is throwing me. The week of April 22nd through the 29th, Kathy is coming to visit for the week! I can't wait to finally meet her!!! Then The first weekend in May is Drews graduation!!! After graduation he is coming up here and we are packing up all my stuff and loading it into his truck and also taking care of the marriage license and then he is taking my stuff to his house in Alabama!!! Then 3 weeks later......We get married!!!!!! I can't wait!!! I am really hoping that the next 2 1/2 months flies by really quickly! There is so much to do and so many things to look forward to during those months.....I just can't wait to finally be Mr. and Mrs. Andrew Michael Matthews!!!

Interesting New Happenings....

The scoop:
Recently I found out from my sister that my dad had a lady friend who he would talk to on the phone once in a while. When I found out I asked dad about it and he turned red and got the goofiest grin on his face! It was so funny! So, I enquired about this lady and found out her name is Kathy. A week ago dad left for Florida to go visit my grandparents. What dad did not tell me until he was there was that he was meeting Kathy in Florida! Well, as the week went on we heard more and more about this mystery lady! By Wednesday I could tell from dad's conversation on the phone that things were getting pretty serious! Dad shared a bit with me about his "date day" (as he called it) that he had on Wednesday...which was also Valentine's Day! He took her shopping in West Palm and then they went to a nice restaurant for dinner and ended the evening walking hand in hand on the beach at sunset! Yup....thats when I knew something was brewing! As the week came to a close I got to talk to Kathy briefly on the phone and was surprised to hear a very sweet and pleasant voice. We had a very nice conversation. I knew after that that I wanted to get to know this special lady!
Everytime I asked dad for details about his time with Kathy and their relationship he wouldn't share....I wanted juice! Not for any particular reason other than I was curious and I was beginning to think they were really cute!
On Sunday I decided to give her a call and talk to her again. She was home in Michigan then. So, I got her number from dad and we had such a wonderful conversation again! She was so happy to know that I wanted to become friends! She shared alot with me about dad. The short version: she is totally smitten by my dad! She even told me that dad was calling her his girlfriend! It was so funny hearing someone tell me that my dad makes them laugh like no body else, and is so romantic! I must admit...it is rather odd! lol!
I have been asked by a few people how I feel about this new turn of events. I am so happy to see my dad happy again! He has his "glow" back! He smiles more and laughs more. It is so great to see that side of him again! So, because of dad's happiness, I am totally and completely ok with this! Another thing, after my conversation yesterday with Kathy, I became even more ok. And the more I get to know her the more I like her. Something in the back of my mind is telling me that she is going to be in the picture a while. I am actually looking forward to that! She is planning on coming here to visit for a week in April for dad's birthday. I can't wait to meet her! She will never/can never replace mom. I know this. But she can fill that empty void that is present in dad's life. Not necessarily the same way, but in her own special way.
This is a good thing!

Happy 50th Birthday, Mom!!!!!!!!

Today would have been my mom's 50th birthday! That is so hard to believe! I have had a few moments today where I got a little weepy, but it was usually when I got to thinking about how much I wish she could be here to celebrate. We are going out for dinner this afternoon to mom's favorite restaurant, Maggiano's. And we are getting tiramisu for dessert because that was her favorite and whenever we would go to Maggiano's she would have to get her tiramisu! It is hard to believe that she has been gone 7 months already. She is greatly missed! It still hurts to think that I won't get to see her again in this life, but God has given me the strength to keep going and he has added so much joy since mom left this world. I will never stop loving the amazing woman who had such an impact on my life and who has helped to mold me into who I am today. Happy Birthday, Mom! I love you so much!

What's On My Mind....

Here it is....the year 2007. The year that I marry the man of my dreams. Kinda hard to believe that I am actually at this stage in my life. I am about to experience alot of changes. Am I ready?? I think so. Currently nothing in my life has much permanence. My job is temporary, my living status is temporary, even my last name is temporary. I am ready to settle. I still have so much to learn, though. It seems that each day God brings something new into my life to help me. Today's "something" was that He will take care of me. While filling my car with gas I "just happened" to glance down and there was a 10 dollar bill at my feet. My first thought was "who dropped it?" and "I need to get it back to its owner"...but there was no one around. So, I saw it as a God thing and thanked Him for taking care of me.
But that isn't all I am learning. I have the hardest time with trust. I have a very hard time trusting God. This, when I think about it, seems so funny. Here I am, one of God's creations and I have a hard time trusting the One who created me and allows me to take my next breath! But it is so much harder than that. I find that I can be so selfish! I try to take my life in MY own hands. I try to do things in MY own power. I try to handle situations in MY own strength....for what??? Nothing. I get nowhere. Why can't we just trust God? Why can't we just rely on Him for everything? Why is it so hard? Ok, I know the answer. We are selfish, rebellious creatures. Makes ya feel real warm and fuzzy inside...huh?? No, it should make you feel pretty much like dirt. I know thats how I feel.
I have been thinking alot about mom lately. Mom is in heaven. God is so much more of a reality for her than it is for us. Sometimes I wish that I could see what mom is seeing right now....ok, make that an all the time thing. I also wonder how much different mom would be if she were to come back to earth after experiencing what heaven and God are really like. It must be amazing! One night while I was staying at Drews house I had a horrible dream. In my dream, mom was still alive. And alot of the dream was from past memories. It was one of those dreams that seems real. Then, mom died in my dream. I was so devestated. I was crying in my dream and trying to find her. When I woke up I sat straight up in bed and my first thought was that I was so thankful it was just a dream, then I realized mom really was gone. I ran straight up to Drews room in tears. Drew was there the day after mom died and was there for those days after up through the funeral. He understands to some extent what happened in my life the day mom died. Well, something he told me that morning, while he let me use his shoulder (again) to cry on, was something he has told me several times when I get to missing mom....he told me that if mom was given the choice to leave heaven and come back to earth she wouldn't take it. She would rather be in heaven and actually would rather WE come to where she is so that we can see how wonderful and beautiful heaven is. Anyhoo....I am not sure why I just shared all that and actually got off on a rabbit trail (as I normally do)! But anyway...what I was saying is that God is trying to teach me to not be so selfish. I am about to be united as one with a wonderful and godly man who I love dearly. I cannot be selfish in anyway when it comes to our marriage. And I need to trust Drew and submit to his leading in EVERY way! I love the picture that is seen in the marriage relationship and how it mirrors our relationship with our mighty God. Before I marry Drew, I need to be able to trust God with everything. I know there will still be times that I fail in this area even after i am married, but it is something that God is strengthing in me. And he is showing me little ways everyday that I don't trust him and need to. So, to make a long post short, my goal is to trust God with all my heart, soul, and mind and to love him and submit to him every moment of everyday for the rest of my life. Is it harder than it sounds. YES! Can I accomplish this goal in my own strength??? NO! I need to trust God to give me the strength to achieve this desired goal. Thats trust. But, then, how can we not trust the one who created us and gave us everything that we have right now? Its that simple. Yet, it is a lesson that could take years to learn.