What's On My Mind....

Here it is....the year 2007. The year that I marry the man of my dreams. Kinda hard to believe that I am actually at this stage in my life. I am about to experience alot of changes. Am I ready?? I think so. Currently nothing in my life has much permanence. My job is temporary, my living status is temporary, even my last name is temporary. I am ready to settle. I still have so much to learn, though. It seems that each day God brings something new into my life to help me. Today's "something" was that He will take care of me. While filling my car with gas I "just happened" to glance down and there was a 10 dollar bill at my feet. My first thought was "who dropped it?" and "I need to get it back to its owner"...but there was no one around. So, I saw it as a God thing and thanked Him for taking care of me.
But that isn't all I am learning. I have the hardest time with trust. I have a very hard time trusting God. This, when I think about it, seems so funny. Here I am, one of God's creations and I have a hard time trusting the One who created me and allows me to take my next breath! But it is so much harder than that. I find that I can be so selfish! I try to take my life in MY own hands. I try to do things in MY own power. I try to handle situations in MY own strength....for what??? Nothing. I get nowhere. Why can't we just trust God? Why can't we just rely on Him for everything? Why is it so hard? Ok, I know the answer. We are selfish, rebellious creatures. Makes ya feel real warm and fuzzy inside...huh?? No, it should make you feel pretty much like dirt. I know thats how I feel.
I have been thinking alot about mom lately. Mom is in heaven. God is so much more of a reality for her than it is for us. Sometimes I wish that I could see what mom is seeing right now....ok, make that an all the time thing. I also wonder how much different mom would be if she were to come back to earth after experiencing what heaven and God are really like. It must be amazing! One night while I was staying at Drews house I had a horrible dream. In my dream, mom was still alive. And alot of the dream was from past memories. It was one of those dreams that seems real. Then, mom died in my dream. I was so devestated. I was crying in my dream and trying to find her. When I woke up I sat straight up in bed and my first thought was that I was so thankful it was just a dream, then I realized mom really was gone. I ran straight up to Drews room in tears. Drew was there the day after mom died and was there for those days after up through the funeral. He understands to some extent what happened in my life the day mom died. Well, something he told me that morning, while he let me use his shoulder (again) to cry on, was something he has told me several times when I get to missing mom....he told me that if mom was given the choice to leave heaven and come back to earth she wouldn't take it. She would rather be in heaven and actually would rather WE come to where she is so that we can see how wonderful and beautiful heaven is. Anyhoo....I am not sure why I just shared all that and actually got off on a rabbit trail (as I normally do)! But anyway...what I was saying is that God is trying to teach me to not be so selfish. I am about to be united as one with a wonderful and godly man who I love dearly. I cannot be selfish in anyway when it comes to our marriage. And I need to trust Drew and submit to his leading in EVERY way! I love the picture that is seen in the marriage relationship and how it mirrors our relationship with our mighty God. Before I marry Drew, I need to be able to trust God with everything. I know there will still be times that I fail in this area even after i am married, but it is something that God is strengthing in me. And he is showing me little ways everyday that I don't trust him and need to. So, to make a long post short, my goal is to trust God with all my heart, soul, and mind and to love him and submit to him every moment of everyday for the rest of my life. Is it harder than it sounds. YES! Can I accomplish this goal in my own strength??? NO! I need to trust God to give me the strength to achieve this desired goal. Thats trust. But, then, how can we not trust the one who created us and gave us everything that we have right now? Its that simple. Yet, it is a lesson that could take years to learn.

Congratulations Jen!!!

My sister Jen and her new husband Jeff were married last Saturday december 16th! The wedding was gorgeous! Jen was stunning! I got all teared up! The ceremony began with a video slide show of them growing up. I started to get teary through that just remembering all the memories we have growing up. There were also pictures of mom. It was really sweet. Then the wedding party entered. When Jen finally came down the aisle with dad she was glowing! She looked absolutely gorgeous! Her make-up and hair were flawless and her dress was beautiful! But it was her eyes that shined the most! It was a very sweet ceremony and then we went over to this really pretty white mansion dating back at least 100 years for the reception. It was very pretty! Everyone had a nice time and the food was great! If you would like to see pictures from the wedding you can go to www.albums.proshots.com/sonshinepictures the event is Badal2 and the password is Ezzell2. Congrats Jen and Jeff!!!! I love you both!!!

Holiday Happenings...

Wow! I can't believe that Christmas is just around the corner! Things are getting crazy at my house! My sister, Jen, is getting married in just a little over a week. Her fiance is working on getting the small basement apartment ready for them here at my house. Drew will be back up here for the wedding. He gets here a week from friday! Yay!!! I am so excited! Please pray for him, he has alot to do before finals.
We had our engagement pictures done the friday after thanksgiving! They turned out great! If you would like to see them you can go to www.albums.proshots.com/sonshinepictures the event name is Badal and the password is Matthew. Just be sure to capitalize the "M" in Matthew!
On the 30th of December I have the wonderful priviledge of travelling down to Decatur Alabama!!! I am staying for 12 days!! It'll be a really nice time and it'll be great to see Drews family again! And get to go to his church again! I love the people down there and I absolutely love his church! Plus, Drew will be there so it'll be even better! lol! And in less than 6 months is the wedding! Things are coming along great! I was talking to Amanda who is my maid of honor the other day....she is so wonderful! She thinks of things that I would have never thought of! But she was asking me stuff the other day and she couldn't believe how on top of things I am! lol!
It is neat when I finally just get to sit back and see how life is going especially with all the changes being made in our family and the different things that are going on how awesome God is. Yeah, we had to face probably the hardest thing ever this past summer when mom passed away, but God promised to never leave us nor forsake us even in the hardest times and he has brought so much joy in the place of sadness. That reality really amazes me! What an awesome God we serve!

Yup, We are country folk!

Sunday morning dawned like any other day. We had big plans to meet up in DC with my mom's best friend and her family who we hadn't seen in over 8 years. I had just woken up and was attempting to down a bowl of Honey Bunches of Oats when all of a sudden my cat comes running out of nowhere chasing something up onto our couch in the living room and about climbing the book shelves. I am thinking dad has been feeding her way to much of the Friskies and continue eating when all of a sudden I hear the oddest of noises. It was a familiar noise, but not one I normally hear in my house. I was trying to figure out where I had heard that particular noise and then I vaguely remembered hearing a similar noise from a tree above my head a few times around campus at BJU. A sound that could only be made by a squirrel. Being the curious person that I tend to normally be I debated whether to go over to where my cat was going nuts or just watch what was taking place from my seat at the very high up stool in the kitchen. Curiosity ended up getting the best of me and I walked over to the couch where my cat was sitting wide eyed and bushy tailed all the while reminding myself that squirrels can carry rabies. So, as gingerly as I new how I kicked the couch leg and it was as if the thing went nuts under there! I ran upstairs to where my dad was screaming because reality had just hit that there was a real live squirrel in our house and it could have rabies and it was mad. Well, dad comes running down the stairs not exactly believing me and goes over to the couch and kicks it like I just had and the stupid squirrel decided to shut up! So, dad is thinking I'm crazy and goes back upstairs. I decide that maybe the thing is just stuck in the floor vent somewhere and not really loose like I originally thought and go back upstairs to get ready. About 30 minutes later I come back downstairs and there is my cat sitting on the back of the couch looking down at something behind the couch. Once again I got very curious and walked over to the couch and peeked over the edge and looked behind it. Let me tell you before I continue that we have a big brown de-humidifier behind our couch. Well, there I am peering over the edge of the couch when all of a sudden I see something gray move under the de-humidifier and make that awful squirrel sound. I jumped back as fast as I could still thinking about rabies and ran screaming up to my dad telling him that I saw the squirrel and even knew its location in the house. My dad comes out of his bedroom and I bust up laughing. He is carrying a wooden beam as a club and his bb gun pistol. All of a sudden I am afraid for this poor little squirrel who somehow got itself mixed up in our big world. Well, my dad comes storming downstairs and my sister Kate goes and wakes up my sisters fiance who lives in my basement and so Jeff (my sisters fiance) comes upstairs and dad tells him to lift the de-humidifier while he shoots the squirrel. The poor thing didn't even see it coming. All of a sudden there is dad shooting his heart out and then this gray bloody thing comes running from behind the couch and finds the corner of the room. The poor thing his face was all bloody where dad had shot 3 bb's in his head. Yet he was still alive! There was blood everywhere! So, dad had him cornered and was determined to finish the little guy off and shot him again in the head point blank. That did nothing....the little squirrel ran straight into the living room and onto the carpet! Finally, we opened the front door and shooed him out! He sat on the stoop for what seemed like forever before he got enough energy to scamper off. When the squirrel was gone we surveyed the damage to the living room and dining room and because dad was the one who had actually made the mess he was the one who had clean-up duty. With the excitement over me and my sisters and Jeff proceeded to get ready for the day. About 5 minutes later dad hollers from the living room that he had found the squirrels eye ball on the carpet under the dining room table. And then he proceeded to show it to each of us. The whole rest of the day we continued to laugh at such a silly event and felt sorry for that poor squirrel who just ended up in the wrong place at the wrong time. We found out 2 things that morning. One being that dad can't kill things up close because just a week or two earlier he shot a squirrel out of a tree and killed it from his bathroom window, and second being that our dog is not a squirrel hunter but just a squirrel chaser. She found more joy of chasing it in circles than in actually catching it. What a morning!!!

Whats New....

It has definitely been a while since I last posted. Things have been absolutely crazy! The other day I realized that mom has been gona for almost 4 months already! That is very hard to believe. Jen is getting married in less than 2 months. And Kate has started working with me at the coffee shop! The holidays are around the corner and there is still lots to do! It is going to be a very busy next 2 months! I have pretty much been keeping busy with work and now kickboxing classes Monday and Friday evenings and Thursday mornings. My clothes are already starting to fit very loose on me! The sweat pants that I bought for kickboxing are now way too big and I end up having to try to keep them from falling off! I am going to have to get a new pair before the next class! I am so excited about the holidays because I will be able to see Drew more! I miss him so much! This semester thas been rough on him. He has had so much to do! Pray for him if you would. It is the busiest semester ever for him and he is feeling the pressure. Other than that things are pretty much in somewhat of a state of normal. There are only 7 more months to go before our wedding and still alot to do to prepare. Thankfully time is flying relatively quickly seeing as i have been engaged for 2 and a half months already! The wedding will be here before we know it! Until then I am just keeping busy and counting down the days! There are currently 213 more days till we get married! I am already very excited and cannot wait for the big day!

A Big Blessing!!!

Last Friday a dear sweet lady from my church took me out for the day and we went wedding dress shopping. Back before my mom passed away she appointed this lady to help me. She is really sweet, she was always like a grandma to me, so Friday was a blast! I did find my dress, too! And I found my bridesmaid dresses. Then, she decided we would go to Micheals and see if we could get some ideas for favors and such. Well, she ended up buying my invitations, my flower girl basket, my bubble wands for after the reception, and my veil! So, Friday turned out to be a very productive wedding planning day!
Also, on Friday I am leaving to go visit Drew! I am so excited! It seems like forever since we were together! I miss him soooo much!
Other than that...things are pretty crazy around here.

The Busy Life of Jess

Hi ya'll!!! Well, here I am again! Things are pretty insane on my end of things! Planning my wedding, working 9 hours a day, going to kickboxing classes, staying busy in church, and still having time to come home and breathe! lol! It is absolutely crazy, but I wouldn't want it any other way! There are only 250 more days to go before I get married! Anything to make those days go by quicker is alright with me! We have revival at our church this week and my pastors brother is the one preaching. He is really good! On Thursday I am going over a lady in my church's house with the other girls my age for a girls night!!! That will be loads of fun! Then on Friday I am going with a very sweet lady in my church to try to find my wedding dress. It is looking to be more of a challenge than I thought to find the right one. I thought I found the right one before, but it just wasn't quite what I was looking for, very close though!
The most exciting news is that in 2 weeks, on September 29th I am going down to see my fiance!!!! I can't wait! I miss Drew sooo much! That is what I am really looking forward to right now!!! It has been a month since we were together....much too long for me! One thing that I am really looking forward to about being married to Drew is getting to be with him and not having to say good-bye. Me and drew have had a long distance relationship since January and we are both not liking it (obviously!). It is hard, but it is true that absence makes the heart grow fonder!!!