Hard Times

It has been just a couple days since I last posted and mom's health is just deteriorating. Dad doesn't think she is going to make it through the day. Her breathing is really odd. I guess the correct word would be shallow, but I am not sure if it is the correct word or not. I went in to see her this morning. It is hard for me to sit by her bedside, especially alone. I held her hand and she opened her eyes partially and managed a weak smile. It took everything I had inside to not throw myself in her arms and just plead for her to come back. When dad came into the room about 5 minutes later I had to leave. Last night I thought I was done crying. That is all I have done since I woke up this morning. Dad tells me she is in no pain right now and that when it is time she will go very peacefully and it will just be like she goes to sleep. This makes me feel a little better.
Drew is coming up today. I don't know when he will get here. It might be later today or tomorrow morning. I hope he gets here before anything happens.
I want to thank all of you who have been praying for us. Your prayers mean alot.

Sad News

It is mom. Things have gone from bad to worse. She had a CAT scan today. The cancer has spread into her liver, stomach, and intestines. We won't know anything more until tomorrow when we hear from her doctor. I can't say this has come as a surprise to me. I had an awful gut renching feeling the results wouldn't be good, but there was a part of me that was really holdin out to hear some good news or some not so awful news. The feeling of knowing that your mom is slowing being taken away from you is a feeling that I can hardly explain. If I could do one thing, it would be to encourage anyone reading this to find your mom wherever she may be and give her a great big hug and tell her you love her. She may not always be there. The hardest thing for me is the memories of days gone by. The thought that I may never feel my mom's fingers playing in my hair, or be able to go out to lunch or spend a day shopping together tears my heart to shreds. Cherish the moments with your mom as much as you can. And never take her for granted. Moms are one of lifes most precious gifts.

A Bump in the Road and a Bright Ray of Sunshine!

Here I am again...and things keep getting more complicated. I got a phone call from Northern Virginia Community College with the awful information that none of my credits would transfer. So, I have a month to figure out what I am going to do. There is a couple posiblities in Alabama, and one in Florida. I can stay with Drews family in Alabama and my grandparents in Florida. We will see what happens. For those of you reading this, please please PLEASE pray for me. The Lord has put the desire in my heart to pursue this degree. I don't know where the Lord is going to place me.
On a different note...I was babysitting my friend Debbie's kids and I had the opportunity to talk with one of her daughters, Alora, and we started talking about God and stuff...well, I told her about Jesus and how he died for us and all, and then she just kinda pondered it all and while I was doing dishes a bit later came downstairs and told me that she went to her room and asked Jesus to come into her heart and forgive her of her sins and to be with her forever! It made my day to hear that! One thing is for sure! I want to work with kids and be around kids for the rest of my life!

Shocking News!

Last Friday night I came home from hanging with my buddy Robyn to a big surprise. It was late and I was surprised to see my sisters boyfriends truck still in our driveway. I walked in the house and there is everyone having a pow wow in my living room. So, just thinkin nuthing of it I plop down on the couch totally exhausted. Next thing I know mom is telling me to say hello to my new future brother in law. I freak out (inside of course), and look over and there is my sister and her boyfriend turned fiance and my sister has this huge rock sittin on her finger. I had quite a few mixed emotions of course. She is only 18 and still has alot of growing up to do (as do I, but there is a huge difference between 18 and 21). I was happy for her because I know she is crazy about this guy, but couldn't help to notice the sinking feeling in my gut because of the stories I have heard about couples who get married that young and have lots of problems. And then there was the typical feeling of "Thats not fair! I was supposed to get engaged first cuz I'm the oldest!" Totally a selfish approach that I had to silence immediately and kick myself for even thinking that.
So, in conclusion, I am happy for my little sister. I don't think it is the wisest decision this soon since they are so young, but God is in control. I will just pray really really hard that if it is God's will for them to be together now that they would do well together, and if it isn't God's will for them to marry that they would realize it before it is too late. Congrats Jen!

Twist of Events

It is odd how one day you can see life going one way for you and then the next your outlook is completely different. It has been a while since I have posted on my blog. Main reason being that I was at school the whole month of May knocking out two more classes. But now I am home and life is crazy. Mom's health has gotten worse since i last posted on here. She weighs under 100 lbs, and is having a hard time keeping food down without meds. It has been really hard seeing her like this. But God has given me grace thus far and His grace will continue in the days to come. Of this I am certain.
The school situation has taken a turn I would have never thought possible. I am now looking into and have already applyed to finish my education at Northern Virginia Community College. Going this direction seems to just abound with positive aspects. I will essentially save about 24 thousand dollars this way, will be able to graduate by Christmas as long as all my credits transfer, I will be able to get married sooner....BIG PERK!, and I will be able to be here with mom, among many other plusses.
As for the rest of my summer....I am looking forward to going to visit my wonderful boyfriend in August for a week and a half, and then get to work at the Wilds for the very last week, and then until then work my tail off!!!
So as of right now, this is the direction my life is heading in. We shall see what the Lord is going to do through all these changes and twists in my road of life! Until then I shall just continue to drive along trusting the Lord to lead me along the way.